Posted by
Chad Phillips on Friday, March 09, 2007 6:20:50 PM
By Santiago Rojas
Staff Writer
DisAssociatedPress
BRAZIL - Latin Americans with blood in their eyes publicly
apologized to George Bush and America after admitting they were paid
off by left wing zealots.
The People for the H.C. Latin American Front (PLAF)evidently secured high
ranking leftist leaders to distribute propaganda to their people for
the expressed purpose of inciting riots during the 24 hour Bush Latin
American Tour. "The people of Latin America deeply regret what has
happened here," said Hugo Chijuajua of the Cosortium of Latin American Free States (CLAFS).
"We hope the President and people of the United States will accept our
apology on behalf of the people of Latin America."
Details are sketchy, but the furor has touched off an investigation into links with high ranking media executives.
The well known organization, Conspiracy Theorists of America (CTA)
have been brought in to aid investigators in speculation as to "who dun
it."
Asked if CTA's liberal leanings will hurt their credibility, an
investigator for Covert Operations had this to say, "We've had to send
the majority of these experts to a re-education facility. Part of their
"therapy" includes duct taping their left hand to their bodies so they
have to do everything with the right hand. They also must begin the day
with the Pledge of Allegiance and spend three hours per day studying
the constitution, and practicing group identification."
Group identification involves the use of color charts where all
parties are separated and asked what they see. Then they are brought
back together to discuss the findings with those in their group. When
everyone agrees that what they are looking at is the same color and
that there is no Government conspiracy to make them think they are
looking at the same color, they are considered ready for active duty.
In addition, participants in the re-education program were not allowed to view the popular television shows, Alias or Jerry Springer, as this caused some to suffer a relapse into leftwing paranoid schizophrenic disorder.
DisAssociatedPress Staff Writer and Editor Chad Phillips contributed biographical information to this article.