Posted by
Chad Phillips on Saturday, March 10, 2007 9:51:20 AM
By Chad Phillips
Editor-in-Chief
DisAssociatedPress
Scientists have discovered the Covert Operations of America 's (COA) practice of "left hand binding" in leftist re-education facilities has lead to accute right brain dominance.
The practice which was carried out as a remedy for the condition known as leftwing paranoid schizophrenic disorder, has actually had the opposite effect, causing mass delusions in the majority of journalists and even some network powerbrokers.
"This explains the growing trend of journalists nationwide to report not what is actually happening in the world, but what they think is happening in the world," said Lars Olefson of the Institue for Neurostudies in Sweden.
According to Olefson, the right brain dominance becomes so accute, suffers live in an "alternate reality" with no correspondance to the real world.
Currently the federal government is looking into more effective ways to treat the illness and has suspended further use of "binding."
Olefson, a pioneer in behavioral sciences and a former "graduate" of the COA's re-education program believes the "binding" practice is a government conspiracy aimed at causing the disintegration of society, thus bringing about a New World Order.
In a related story, legislation was put forth by the Democratic Party which would make it mandatory for teachers and parents to undergo re-education through the COA program. When asked how expansion of these "services" would be paid for, a party spokeperson said federal income taxes would have to be increased. Concerns over the tax increase has prompted some party leaders to vote themselves a raise. The increase in pay for elected officials of the federal government is slated for the middle of 2007.